When Baker went away to college three years ago we still had Amanda at home. So although there was a hole in the family when he left we still had one child at home. But last fall when Baker and Amanda both left it was tough. After 20 years of thinking of myself more as a father than anything else it was tough to have both children gone.
We have reached that same point once again. Baker left for college today and Amanda will leave on Thursday. Anxiety is taking hold. I feel sad and a little nervous. When the kids are gone not only does my identity suffer a painful shift but I don't know where they are. Especially at night. I don't know if they are safe and making good choices. I don't know if they are home safe. I don't know much at all except that they are at that age where they are going to do some foolish things and be in some dangerous situations.
I'm lucky to have good kids and cell phones help. But I go to sleep many nights wondering where they are and what they are doing. No wonder I am melancholy.
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